sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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