Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize