I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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