Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
