She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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