You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize