Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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