I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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