He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
