i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
