Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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