Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
