We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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