dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
