in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
