i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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