worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
