okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
