so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize