her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
