IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
