shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
