so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
