I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
