We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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