Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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