I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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