Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
