I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
