they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
