Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
