i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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