I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
