Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
