VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
