I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
