oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
