Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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