you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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