hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
