Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize