I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I forget how to act sober
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
