he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
