we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
