im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize