belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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