Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
