Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There r osticjed everywhere
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
