Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
