Girls should come with a carfax report
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
