Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
