my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
