im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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