So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
