I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
