I accidentally burped into my bong.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
