So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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