My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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