Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
