so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
