I smell stomach acid.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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