Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
